Symptoms
The "symptoms" are actually the observable behaviors of the manipulator and the effects on the target. Symptoms displayed by the manipulator could include:
Rapid shifts in personality or mood
Inconsistent stories or information
Use of flattery or guilt-tripping to get what they want
Playing the victim
Gaslighting (denying reality to manipulate the target)
Changing the subject when confronted
Creating drama or conflict to distract from their own actions
Lack of accountability Symptoms experienced by the target can include:
Confusion and self-doubt
Feeling like you're "walking on eggshells"
Difficulty trusting your own judgment
Emotional exhaustion
Anxiety or depression
Feeling isolated or alienated
Increased stress or feelings of guilt/responsibility for the manipulator's actions
Causes
The causes are complex and likely involve a combination of factors:
Personality Disorders: Traits associated with narcissistic, histrionic, borderline, or antisocial personality disorders may contribute to manipulative behavior.
Learned Behavior: Learned manipulative tactics through observation or direct experience.
Environmental Factors: Unhealthy family dynamics, trauma, or a history of being manipulated may contribute.
Low Self-Esteem/Insecurity: Manipulation may be used as a coping mechanism to feel in control or gain validation.
Lack of Empathy: A reduced capacity to understand or share the feelings of others.
Medicine Used
There is no "medicine" for manipulative behavior in the way there is for a physical illness. However, if the manipulative behavior stems from an underlying mental health condition, medication might be used to manage symptoms of that condition (e.g., antidepressants for depression, mood stabilizers for bipolar disorder). Psychotherapy (talk therapy) is the primary treatment approach.
Precautions
Set Boundaries: Clearly define your limits and consistently enforce them.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels "off," pay attention to that feeling.
Document Interactions: Keep a record of conversations and events, especially if you suspect gaslighting.
Seek External Validation: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist to get an outside perspective.
Distance Yourself: If possible, limit contact with the manipulator.
Learn About Manipulation Tactics: Educate yourself on common manipulation strategies to recognize them more easily.
Prioritize Your Well-being: Focus on self-care and activities that bring you joy and strength.
How long does an outbreak last?
There is no outbreak, per se. The duration of the manipulation depends on several factors:
The manipulator's personality and motivations.
The target's awareness and willingness to tolerate the behavior.
The presence of external factors (e.g., legal intervention, family support). Manipulation can last for days, weeks, months, or even years. It often continues until the target takes steps to stop it.
How is it diagnosed?
Manipulative behavior is not "diagnosed" in the same way as a medical disease. A mental health professional (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist) can assess an individual's behavior patterns and determine if they meet the criteria for a personality disorder or other condition that may contribute to manipulation. The target experiencing the manipulation can seek therapy to process their experience and develop coping strategies.
Timeline of Symptoms
The timeline can vary, but it often follows a pattern:
Idealization/Love Bombing: The manipulator may initially present themselves as charming, attentive, and seemingly perfect.
Subtle Manipulation: Small requests or subtle guilt trips begin to test the target's boundaries.
Increased Manipulation: The manipulator's demands and control tactics escalate.
Gaslighting/Blame Shifting: The target begins to doubt their own reality and is blamed for the manipulator's problems.
Crisis/Drama: The manipulator creates crises to elicit sympathy or distract from their behavior.
Discard/Hoovering: The manipulator may abruptly end the relationship or cycle back to the love-bombing phase to re-engage the target.
Important Considerations
Safety: In some cases, manipulative behavior can escalate to emotional or physical abuse. If you feel threatened, prioritize your safety and seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional.
Professional Help: Both the manipulator and the target can benefit from therapy. A therapist can help the manipulator understand the underlying causes of their behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms. The therapist can help the target understand the dynamics of manipulation and learn how to protect themselves.
Self-Blame: Remember that you are not responsible for the manipulator's behavior. Manipulation is a choice they make.
Focus on Recovery: Healing from manipulation can take time. Be patient with yourself and prioritize your well-being.